Wrapped Up In Memories
by Nannalyn
Summary: "Sitting on her armchair next to the fireplace, she holds the blanket in her hand. Memories flood her mind; from the day she felt so sick that Harvey accompanied her home wrapped up in it, and after spending almost a week underneath it on her sofa, she never wanted to give it back." Donna, Harvey and a blanket at different points in time.


_A/N: One little part in my fic "Not Her Best Move" about Harvey being Donna's blanket had gotten so much attention that it ultimately inspired this story. I hope you enjoy! :)_

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_Nathalie, this one's for you. You know why._

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**~ Wrapped Up In Memories ~**

Her whole body is trembling and it's starting to scare him. The streets of New York are almost melting under the hot summer sun, all air conditioners turned on at the highest setting without bringing much relief, yet Donna is freezing. Harvey started to suspect something was up when she didn't finish her sacred first coffee at her desk that morning, but otherwise she's been busying herself with work as usual. Until about an hour ago, when he'd caught her staring at her screen, an absent-minded look on her face.

"Donna? Donna!" Registering he's calling her name through the intercom only the second time around, she jumps in response. "Sorry, Harvey. What is it?"

"Is everything okay? You looked like you've been miles away."

"Actually, I'm not feeling well. It's probably just the heat. I'll be okay, what do you need?" her uninflected voice contradicting her statement.

"Nothing is okay, Donna. You're as pale as a ghost. You better go home and rest." Having the privilege of spending his work hours with her usual lively and bouncy self by his side, he couldn't bear seeing this lifeless version of her much longer. "There's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow."

"But–"

"No buts. I'll call Ray. He'll drive you home in half an hour."

When Ray calls that he's waiting downstairs, Donna is just returning from the ladies' room. Barely able to keep herself upright on her insanely high heels that she generally sports as if she'd been born with them, Harvey meets her half way – ready to catch her any second but keeping an adequate distance. "That's it. I'll come with you. Make sure you make it home in one piece."

"Harvey, there's no need. I'm fine. And Ray is there." She weakly objects with a shrug of her shoulders, her eyes pleading.

"I won't take any chances. Are you ready to go?"

* * *

The car ride to her apartment is unusually quiet. They hadn't shared the backseat of the Lexus often since Ray only started working for him a couple of weeks ago, but the few times they did, Donna had been talking almost non-stop. Entertaining Ray and himself by telling stories she was reminded of by every other street corner they passed. Harvey liked the silence, was even looking for it on occasion, but right now, it worried him.

"Donna, you're shaking."

"I'm cold," she admits, putting her hands between her crossed legs to warm them up. It being one of the hottest days of the year, Donna is wearing a thin summer dress which would still be more than anybody would want to wear if the regulation of their body temperature would work normally. If he'd had it with him, Harvey would have put his suit jacket around her shoulders by now, unfortunately though he had discarded it the moment he arrived at the firm that morning and was only wearing a shirt and tie which was killing him. Watching her in this state and being unable to do anything, he feels helpless, and there's barely anything he hates more than that. How goddamn long does it take to get to her place?

"Mr. Specter, if I may?" Ray interjects. "There is a blanket stored under the passenger seat next to mine. My wife insisted I always carry one with me, '_because Mr. Specter should never want for anything'_. And apparently a warm and cosy blanket can help with that."

Fumbling under the seat in front of him, he finds it folded into a bag. "Got it. Thank you, Ray."

Holding the cream-coloured woollen material up, he hesitates. "Donna? Will you let me–?"

She is staring holes into Ray's headrest and Harvey is waiting for a response, when she leans forward slightly and he wraps the blanket carefully around her shaking body. She looks back up at him and he finds a silent _thank you_ in her eyes.

* * *

A few minutes later, they arrive in front of her apartment building. Donna's trembling had subsided noticeably in the meantime and Harvey makes a mental note to thank Ray's wife in some way; and to upgrade all of the cars he'll ever own with a blanket stored away somewhere.

He's right by her side at the building's entrance, patiently waiting while she's looking for her keys in her handbag. "Harvey, you don't need to wait. I know the way. And there's an elevator, it's no big deal."

Finally having unlocked the door, she opens it a little and looks up. His behaviour is irritating her. She knows his desk is full of work waiting for him to be taken care of at the firm, and yet here he is, taking care of her. All the times that spring to her mind where she had felt that he'd looked after her in the past, were moments that also benefitted him - a shared lunch break at one of his favourite places or a drink after hours. They have fun spending time together outside of his office or her desk, even though it's still always _work_. Looking after her when she's sick on the other hand, is anything but fun.

"I won't leave until I've seen you through your door. Of your apartment." Everything about him tells her she won't win this argument, especially not the way she is feeling. So Donna breathes a sigh and gives in.

They don't share a word during the elevator ride to her floor, all the while she's holding onto the blanket as if it's the only thing still keeping her on her feet. It's when they approach her door, Harvey unusually close behind her, probably expecting her to faint any second, that she suddenly remembers the first and last time Harvey had been at her door. It's been the night she stopped working for him at the DA's office. The night he came to tell her he quit and she welcomed him in with a can of whipped cream in her hand. The night they were supposed to put out of their minds.

"Here we are."

Preoccupied with her thoughts, she's almost stumbling into her door when Harvey speaks, prompting him to grab her left elbow to prevent her from falling. Avoiding his gaze, she looks at his hand that he quickly withdraws and busies herself by looking for her keys that she'd foolishly thrown back into her bag after she'd let themselves in just a minute ago. She feels dizzy, her hands sweaty and she couldn't tell anymore if it was because she was in frail health or because of Harvey's insistent presence. He obviously affects her more than she wanted to allow herself to be affected by him ever again, and she hates it.

"Do you need anything? I'll ask Ray. He can get you anything you need." His voice is laced with worry and it baffles her that he's so damn calm and attentive when she is barely able to hold herself together. The blanket which had helped keeping her warm now feeling like some kind of protective shield. Judging by her heart rate, though, it doesn't really seem to be working.

"No," she shakes her head ever so slightly and swallows, "thank you, Harvey."

Donna is about to close the door, bidding him good bye, when he stops her. "Promise you'll call me or anyone else if you need anything. Anytime."

"I will. I promise," she replies with a tad of tenseness. A cup of herbal tea and some sleep and she thinks she'll already feel much better in the morning.

"And don't even think of coming to work tomorrow. You'll stay in bed."

"Harvey–" Too weak to answer back, she gives him a disapproving look but quickly relents under his stare. "Fine."

"I'll give you a call. Get well, Donna." Taking one last look at her, he turns around and leaves.

When he's out of sight, Donna closes the door and leans on the wall next to it. Taking a deep breath, she tries to make sense of everything that had just happened, but she cannot form one coherent thought.

Gathering herself, she's about to take off her shoes when she notices she's still wrapped up in the blanket. The soft fabric enveloping her with a soothing warmth, and she doesn't know if she just lost it for good but the slightest hint of Harvey's distinctive cologne was tickling her nose.

Her heart rate slowly returning back to normal, Donna wants nothing more than to lie down in her bed. Even though she hadn't eaten anything substantial that day, the heat suppressing her appetite on top of things, the mere thought of food makes her stomach churn. Making her way to the kitchen to boil some water for tea, she folds the blanket and puts it on the backrest of her sofa. She will give it back to him at the next opportunity.

* * *

~*O*~

* * *

It was finally over. The whole Liberty Rail case had taken a toll on all of them; emotions were flying high and he couldn't wait for everything to be back to normal.

Harvey has just arrived at her apartment and after letting him in, Donna excused herself on the spot, mumbling something about not wanting to burn her place down today of all days and disappeared into her kitchen. After she'd heard about their win, she had invited him over to celebrate and have dinner. He was looking forward to spending time with her outside of the office, so he had decided to go straight to her place without stopping by at his to change first.

He'd rarely seen Donna as scared and vulnerable as throughout the last few days and, as if he would have needed any further incentive, it had spurred him on to give even more than the best he's always giving as it is. Having seen her so out of her element with the possibility of going to prison hanging over her head had thrown him off course more than he'd liked to admit. Harsh words were spoken and tears were shed, although he had wanted nothing more than to take all her distress away in an instant. But thankfully it was done now, they could check this off and move on.

Entering her living room, his eyes immediately find the table that's nicely set for their dinner. There's a green salad in a bowl and a mix of delicious flavours, something Italian he assumes, wafts through the air. The unmistakable sounds of someone busy in the kitchen reach his ears.

"Do you need any help in there?" he asks, waiting for a reply while scanning the room. It looked different than when he had last been here, a couple of months ago, when he'd volunteered to help her move one of her floor lamps from one corner of her apartment to another. He'd accidentally knocked one of her designer vases over in the process and was still paying for it – in designer goods or by being mocked.

"Just make yourself comfortable over there," Donna answers, quickly peeking around the corner with a smile on her face and her hands in a pair of oven mitts. "I'll be with you in a second!"

He's putting his suit jacket on the armchair next to her sofa when he spots the blanket. Neatly folded into a basket under the round side table next to her sofa; a novel that Donna is probably reading right now lying on top of it. To be honest, he hadn't known that Donna had never given it back to Ray. Years had passed by since the day she'd gotten sick and he'd brought her to her door. He'd just hired Ray as his personal chauffeur. After he'd left her with the blanket at her door, she hadn't been able to work for a couple of days, and by then he'd forgotten about it.

So many things had changed since then; he made senior partner and later even named partner, Jessica fired Donna and he brought her back – because he couldn't imagine ever working without her by his side. And still, many things hadn't changed. He remembers he'd been so worried about Donna and her wellbeing that day, that he hadn't put a second thought on leaving his work be for a while to make sure she gets home safely. And now he just restlessly went above and beyond to free Donna of all charges against her. He treasured his work and it felt like a very important part of who he was, but the people he feels closest to would always be more important to him than that. Caring might make you vulnerable but having no people in your life to fight for, makes none of it worthwhile.

Seeing the blanket now, obviously in regular use, awakens a feeling in him that he can't quite place. It matches perfectly with her furniture as far as he could tell, and memories of Donna wrapped up in it appear in front of his inner eye. Ray's wife had definitely chosen wisely, the high quality of the fabric being evident. He would never blame Donna for keeping it simply because of that, but it is more than that – is he being sentimental? Or is it just the normal feeling that you have when you share memories with someone that they obviously haven't forgotten about either? Or has she? To be fair, he doesn't really know if she remembers it all.

"Sorry for the delay!" Donna interrupts his train of thoughts, "I hope you're still hungry! I should really start working on my dinner hosting skills," she laughs and places a big dish on the table right next to the salad.

"You're doing just fine!" he chuckles and takes his seat, thinking she's doing perfectly in fact but that word doesn't reach his tongue.

"I'm really glad you came, Harvey," Donna declares while pouring them both some wine, "and I wouldn't want it to be the last time, you know."

She's adding that last bit with a wink, determined to keep the conversation light but it feels like a ton of bricks raining down on him. He would like to do this more often, without question. His mind, however, is immediately going to places where he feels lost and found at the same time and he doesn't know what that even means and how to handle that.

"You won't get rid of me so easily, don't worry." Regretting those words as soon as he said them even though they were the truth, he raises his glass and his eyes to find a smile on her lips and a hint of nervousness mirrored in her eyes. "So, what is it that you're poisoning me with tonight?"

* * *

Later that evening, Donna finds herself finishing the rest of the last bottle of wine they opened, staring into the candle on her coffee table and her head spinning not only because of the alcohol. Repeating his last words over and over in her mind, as if she couldn't believe he truly said them.

_"You know I love you, Donna."_

A myriad of questions and thoughts invade her mind, clashing together, not allowing her to mull over one for long. The last days had been a whirlwind of emotions as they were and when they'd finally been out of the woods, she could literally feel how a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

It had been way too long since Harvey and her had spent a carefree evening together, apart from the office and lunch breaks. She was glad that she decided to invite him over to make up for the upheaval she'd caused and to thank him properly for all that he'd done for her. She still felt guilty that she had suggested Louis might be the better lawyer regarding that case; and she had instantly felt the hurt she'd inflicted on Harvey by voicing those thoughts. It had been haunting her, and finally being able to apologise for it was a huge relief.

Putting her now empty glass down, she stretches her left arm out to reach for the blanket in its place underneath the side table. Shoving the book Rachel has lent her aside, she pulls it up all the way, wishing for sleep or oblivion to find her. She desperately needed a rest – from all the drama, all the emotions and all the thinking.

They had had so much fun that night. Laughing, talking, reminiscing. She hadn't had such a good time in a long time. Until she decided to bring up what happened. She'd felt the atmosphere shift immediately. She didn't notice she was holding her breath until the second he was out of the door and she released it; trying to relieve the tension that had filled up her body and the surrounding air.

Snuggling deeper into the blanket, Donna now closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. The soft woollen material had always helped her relax after a long day at work, had always given her a feeling of home and security.

She doesn't know how long she's lying there, staring at the ceiling. Her thoughts now being quieter and her breathing deep and even – the blanket had done its magic once more. Getting up, she puts her hair up in a bun and sets out to extinguish all the candles and clear away the dishes from their dinner. Meanwhile, Harvey's words find their way back into her mind inevitably.

_"Anyone else ever loses faith in me, it doesn't matter. But with you, it's different."_

_"You know I love you, Donna."_

Her mind being in overdrive, he was gone before she found her ability to speak again. They would need to talk. Harvey couldn't just say this, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and then leave and expect her not to react to them. Donna knows that she has a special ability to read people, but with Harvey this ability is often stretched to its limits. Forbidding herself to make more of it than it might actually be, she decides she would need an explanation from him as soon as possible. What did he even mean? Love me _how_?

* * *

~*O*~

* * *

Donna had had an inkling that this wouldn't work the way she intended it to, because something that isn't supposed to be could never work out in the end. But she tried, and she knows better now.

When she came home that night of the first day she started working for Louis, she had the sudden urge to extend her change-over into her private space as well. If she wanted to do this, she figured, she should do it properly.

A radical change.

A fresh start.

The hope, that with a shift of her surroundings her feelings would adjust likewise, being her driving force.

She starts with the clear-out in her closet which is crammed full of things she associates directly with Harvey. If she wants to have _anything_ left to wear to work tomorrow, Donna is quick to realise, she can't sort out everything that reminds her of him in whatever small way. Almost every dress, every pair of shoes and every damn handbag seems to hold a precious memory connected to him.

_Harvey goddamn Specter_, she curses under her breath, a feeling of frustration starting to make her question everything before she had even really started. _No, Harvey, _a new determination coming forth right away, thrusting the frustration aside,_ you are not telling me what to do anymore_. She won't allow herself to give up so soon. Gritting her teeth, Donna carries on.

A few bags full of stuff later, Donna has arrived in her living room, about to have her heart broken. Sitting on her armchair next to the fireplace, she holds the blanket in her hand. Memories flood her mind; from the day she felt so sick that Harvey accompanied her home wrapped up in it, and after spending almost a week underneath it on her sofa, she never wanted to give it back. She remembers how Harvey had made her head spin and her heart race that day and countless other days since then, in a way only he seems to be able to. Just as he can bring about a feeling of calmness and security she rarely finds somewhere or with someone else. She remembers the blanket had given her something close to that feeling when needed and, well, she had needed it many times over the years.

Feeling her eyes well up with fresh tears, Donna needs to remind herself why she wanted to do this in the first place. She needs to let go. Of him, of things that remind her of him – even if it hurts. And it does hurt, because she is meaning to separate herself not from mere objects but from memories she holds dear; and you can't buy memories in a store.

Then how can this be right?

_A fresh start_.

You can always make new memories, right? At least she has to try. But how is she supposed to do that, when she cannot even get rid of a stupid blanket?

A sudden sadness is threatening to overwhelm her and the level of energy she has left to fight is dangerously low. _Get a grip, Donna! You can do this! _she reprimands herself. Wiping away a tear with the back of her left hand, she shoves the blanket into the bag with the sorted out belongings before another thought makes her undo the endeavour as a whole. Swallowing down the sadness, she tries not to think, not to feel. Turning towards her sideboard to continue with her sorting, she notices the screen of her phone on the coffee table lighting up with a notification.

_Just thinking of you. How are you doing? I'm always here if you need to talk. X_

The text from Rachel puts a little smile on her face. Somehow Donna almost forgot that she doesn't have to go through this alone. Knowing she has a bad habit of wanting to cope with things on her own and without letting people in, she does the opposite of what she's inclined to do and pushes the call button. _A fresh start_.

* * *

A few days later, the cold and smooth sensation of mango ice cream on her tongue provides Donna with a feeling of comfort, a small sigh leaving her lips. Looking at the skyline outside the big window of her living room, she's letting the events of the day pass by. One event in particular dominating her thoughts.

_"I wanted to thank you."_

_"For 12 years." _

Harvey came to see her, out of nowhere, just to tell her that. To thank her. For all the years they've been working together. The fact he knew the exact number of years alone stirring something deep inside of her. Standing tall in front of her new cubicle, his gaze was searching hers, reinforcing the sincerity that was already found in his words. Losing herself in his eyes, everything happened so fast. Harvey left her speechless, motionless and with a warm and racing heart. When he walked away, it felt as if she was experiencing it all in slow motion. She thinks her heart skipped a beat when she saw his head turning slightly, expecting him to turn around any second, but then he was gone and she was all over the place.

Reaching the bottom of the ice cream container in her hands, she feels the coldness of the sweet substance slowly spreading through her body. Subconsciously reaching for her blanket next to her, her fingers only find an oversized sweater and a new terribly scratchy blanket she ordered online. Without a second thought, Donna gets up and heads for the cupboard where she had stored the bags after her purge, not having had an opportunity yet to take them to the charity organisation of a friend. Rummaging through the bags, she finds the blanket in the second one and brings it to her face, the familiar scent and soft texture instantly soothing her.

The attempt at a new start hadn't been for nothing. It's just that trying to forget memories by getting rid of stuff is futile – because it's impossible to get rid of memories. They belong to you, wherever you are. And those 12 years belonged to them. It was part of who they were, and in hindsight she wouldn't want to miss any single day of those years. Memories test you and they encourage you, they sadden you and they comfort you. And Donna found that that blanket embodies memories only of the comforting and healing kind.

Nestling down under the familiar fabric on her sofa, she inhales and exhales deeply. Her heart, that's been so heavy these past few days, finally starting to feel lighter and warmer again that night.

_"I wanted to thank you."_

_"For 12 years." _

Taking another deep breath, Donna senses something else that she feared might be lost: hope. She doesn't know what caused Harvey to do this, but his gesture didn't only feel like an expression of gratitude but also like a first cautious offer of an olive branch. It gives her hope that this won't be where it's all headed, that they will be able to treat each other like friends again eventually. Because what else is left?

* * *

~*O*~

* * *

Her apartment is dimly lit and Harvey tries to not make any noise when he enters it soft-footed. Donna had gone home earlier that day, feeling unusually tired and exhausted. The extra workload due to Faye's interference in the firm's day-to-day business and her mother being in town had worn her out. Wanting nothing more than to see her face after this long day, he tiptoes into her bedroom after putting away his jacket just to find the bed made and empty. Not hearing or seeing any signs she could be in the bathroom either, he tries his luck in the living room.

Sleeping with a hint of a smile on her lips, he finds Donna lying on her sofa. Maybe she is dreaming, Harvey wonders and can't help but copy her smile. They used to be his happiest and saddest moments all in one. Dreaming about being with her only to wake up and realise it's just been that – a dream. This now, coming home to her and watching her sleep, was pretty much reality and it beat his dreams by far. Judging by the half-filled cup of cold tea on the table and the book in her lap, she must have fallen asleep reading it. Harvey carefully puts the book away and covers her with her favourite cream-coloured blanket.

Returning with a glass of wine from the kitchen, he sits himself down on the other end of the sofa, gently bringing her feet onto his lap. Getting to see her like this and be with her this way after a long day of work is something he still hasn't gotten used to and he doubts that he ever will.

Some mumbled words leaving her lips, Donna is shifting onto her side and pulling the blanket closer. Harvey knows that everything happens for a reason, and he knew he wasn't ready for a long time, but he still couldn't help but feel regret for not spending all those years with her in the closest and most wonderful way possible. Drawing lazy patterns onto her covered legs, he is glad she never gave the blanket back. It gives him some kind of solace that symbols of his affection, like this blanket, have been there for her when he wasn't, even though it seems like a poor substitute. He thinks about all the nights he'd spent at his condo, looking for comfort in his tumbler of scotch, when she possibly looked for it underneath that blanket or in a glass of her own.

Taking another sip, he feels Donna's body stiffen and watches her waking up, one of his many new favourite activities he had taken to over the past few weeks. After a moment that she needs to arrive in the present, her hazel eyes find his waiting ones.

"Hey, beautiful."

Upon hearing his words, Donna only responds with a beaming smile and sparkling eyes that could light up the entire room. She brings her right hand on top of the blanket and covers his own, caressing it before she pulls at it slowly, her eyes drawing him in simultaneously. Carefully putting his glass onto the table before him, he willingly closes the distance. Trying not to crush her with his weight, he props himself up on his left arm when their lips meet in a soft and tender kiss. Completely surrendering to her touch and lips, they wordlessly tell him _hey_, _I missed you_ and _come here _and his response comes without hesitation. He could listen to her voice all day, but this way of communicating definitely had its very own appeal.

Having said their parts, they lose themselves in a dance of hands and lips and tongues until they have to break apart for air. Never being close enough, Donna reaches between them and tugs at the blanket that had helped her through the times when his presence had been missing and he hadn't only brought love and warmth into her life, inviting Harvey to follow her underneath. The narrow space of the sofa forces him to move onto his side. With the backrest behind her, she pulls him closer into her embrace, making sure he stays with her and doesn't fall.

"I love you."

It's not the first time she's saying those words, the ultimate truth, but according to the sudden rapid beating of his heart beneath her palm it might as well be. She's about to get lost in his deep brown eyes filled with love and wonder, when he speaks.

"You're my whole world, Donna."

Cupping his perfect face with her right hand, she feels tears forming in her eyes, blurring her vision. Needing to see him, she blinks the tears away, Harvey quickly following them with his thumb. It feels like she could look right into his soul.

"And I love you, too."

Lying there underneath the blanket and in Harvey's warm embrace, she breathes him in and closes her eyes, seeing all the years since she approached him that night at the bar flashing by. Years full of memories wrapped up in this point in time and ultimately leading to the here and now. Opening her eyes once again and meeting his gaze, Donna believes she never felt more at ease, more secure and more loved in her whole life than at this very moment.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you for reading! As this was in many ways another first for me, I would love to know what you think!_

_And last but never least: Thank you, Jules. For all the love, your awesome beta-ing, feedback and support, and for always listening! X_


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